BIP E11 The Finale

The prom-goers get suspicious when they realize they haven’t seen Noah and Abigail in a while. That’s because they’ve been busy breaking up!

When Abigail finishes her crying jag in the bathroom, Noah asks if they can at least finish chatting and puts his arm around her shoulder. She takes it off. He says he wasn’t trying to blindside her. She asks why he waited until now. He explains that part of the struggle was that he wanted it to work out.

Finalllllly, Abigail tells him that she was actually planning to tell him she was falling in love with him too. He pushed her to open up, she says. “Like, that [bleep] hurts!”

“At the end of the day, I wasn’t your person,” Noah says. Abigail responds, “You’re right. You’re not my person. I kind of just want to forget about this and just…move on.” She’s emotional and puts her hands over her face. When she says, “I don’t want to do this anymore,” she must not have been speaking clearly because subtitles are provided on the screen.

The drawn-out drama ends when they hug goodbye. Noah leaves Paradise with dramatic music and no regrets. He denies having lied to Abigail and calls their time together fun and effortless. They were great, but not each other’s soulmates, he adds.

Abigail, meanwhile, returns to the prom where she tells Chelsea that she and Noah are going home separately. Chelsea, Serena, and Mari (Abigail’s friends from Matt’s season) console Abigail as she tells them what happened. She calls out Noah for getting to walk out of BIP without having to face anyone. Abigail feels humiliated. Serena says Noah should be, and Mari reassures her that she did nothing wrong. They all wonder why Noah waited until the end of Paradise. The girls are mad on Abigail’s behalf.

Abigail leaves the prom and walks up the stairs barefoot. Serena reels from the news, because they’ve been attached at the hip the whole time and she can’t imagine being at Paradise without her.

In the car, Abigail says she’s numb and it’ll take some time to process everything because she was blindsided. “That’s what hurts the most about all of this is he was the one to say he was falling in love and for him to just give no indication that anything was wrong or having doubts, it fucking hurts,” she says. “Why would he get me all happy and excited just to take that away from me?”

Abigail’s theory is that Noah is scared, which is causing him to hold back and use his gut feeling as an excuse. She knows she can’t convince him to stay with her and work it out; he needs to figure it out on his own.

Word spreads about the breakup, leaving everyone in shock. They were all inspired by a relationship that started on Day 1, but now they’re scared because if a couple doing that well can crumble, what does that mean for them? Thomas calls Abigail one of the sweetest people he’s ever met. Joe calls the break up a reality check for everyone.

The breakup remains the topic of conversation for a while. Serena and Mari fill Wells in on the drama. Mari says you never know what’s going on in someone’s head, which is why you need open and honest conversation.

The rest of the episode is predictable. The cocktail party is cancelled, couples have serious conversations about whether they want to stay together, continue on to the Fantasy Suites, or even possibly get engaged. I still don’t understand why it seems to be an all or nothing choice. But several “couples” break up, yet a new couple leaves Paradise together: James and Aaron, BFF Forever. That part is clearly staged but hilarious.

The three remaining couples are Riley and Maurissa, Mari and Kenny, and Joe and Serena. They all have Fantasy Suite dates, which basically means they get alone time without cameras. You know what THAT means! We’re treated to an unnecessarily graphic preview before they close the doors.

The remaining six people all say ILY to each other. They all get engaged. But before Joe proposes to Serena, his ex shows up to talk to him. Totally unnecessary producer manipulation and a time filler.

In the end, we’re provided with some cast updates. Two couples got back together after BIP, including Abigail and Noah, who are now “taking things SLOWLY!” Um, how much slower could they get?

Abigail posted a video montage on Instagram (which I can’t share because it’s a Reel), with the caption, “I love you, @noah_erb.” Looks like they’ve made lots of progress, though I wonder how they got over what he said to her. Hopefully this match made in reality TV heaven will last…

And now we know deaf people really can do anything – even survive a break up on national TV!

https://twitter.com/realitybysteph/status/1445587611997728772

BIP E10 Worst Prom Ever

The Aaron-Ivan fight continues. So does the macho slang: Bro, dawg, dude, etc. Add grammatical missteps like “him and I” and sentences populated with “like,” and you have me needing a stiff drink.

Somehow Chelsea missed the brouhaha despite being the subject of it. Everyone rallies around Ivan, who’s a big fat liar. Chelsea speaks her truth. Luckily Ivan gets his comeuppance when Wells calls him out at the start of the Rose Ceremony. The group watches their conversation from a distance with much conjecture, which I can’t imagine Abigail being able to follow.

Turns out Ivan spent time with Alexa — who was probably going to come down to the beach in the next day or two — at the hotel, which is against the rules. They gloss over the fact that it’s likely a set up, as Ivan says he found out her number from a producer’s phone left in his room, with the number being the first thing on the screen. He comes clean to the group, says he doesn’t have the mental space to be on BIP, and leaves.

Abigail tells the camera she thinks she and Noah would work out in the real world because they want similar things out of life. She sees a future together and thinks they’re on the right track to leaving together.

The guys going home: Demar, Dr. Joe, and Blake. Buh-bye, we hardly knew ya!

Noah offers a cheers for everyone: “Cheers to pursuing what we all deserve. Cheers to honesty and for finishing what we started.”

Another Abigail-Noah-pool-kiss-shot.

As everyone heads down to the beach, Noah makes Abigail laugh as she takes his arm. The new host is — surprise, surprise! — Wells. But don’t worry, he’ll still be bartending.

Mari tells Serena and Abigail that she’s worried about Kenny, who’s acting weird. The quicker they have the conversation, the quicker they’ll be able to work through it, Abigail advises her. Too bad she doesn’t take her own advice. She admits that initiating the conversation is the hardest part.

Another strong-couple-mention-Abigail-Noah-pool-kiss-shot.

Anna from Matt’s season arrives. Wells tells her she smells amazing. She says it’s pheromones, and actually has a pheromone-perfume-like stick. Okaaaay. Her first two date choices are taken, so she asks James, who hasn’t been on a date yet. Their date involves becoming human churros and yellow snakes (named Brendan and Pieper on Twitter) on their backs for a “massage.”

Abigail tells Wells she’s just trying to spend time with Noah this afternoon, trying to spend time while they still have it, and have fun. Wells tells her they’ve been one of the strongest couples, which has to feel kind of nice. He’s really only here for her at this point. Abigail says the whole experience with Noah is very different for her, because everyone sees them as a very secure relationship, but she doesn’t think they’re as locked in as people think they are.

Wells reassures her that Noah likes her a lot. “I do think it would go a long way for him to hear from you, like truly how you feel about him,” Wells says. Abigail asks if he thinks she’s the one preventing the conversation from happening. Wells admits he thinks she’s holding back a little bit.

“Couples are saying they’re falling in love with each other,” Abigail tells the camera. “We haven’t talked about that yet. It’s the elephant in the room for us.” She knows they have to talk about it, but it’s a little scary.

Wells is afraid they’ll neglect true happiness because they’re both scared of doing the thing they’re not good at, which is being serious or vulnerable, or telling people how they really feel. Abigail squishes her nose in response. She’s holding back on telling Noah she’s falling in love with him, but he’s not telling her how he’s feeling, which makes it scary.

Sigh.

Mykenna from Peter’s season shows up; she was at the VIP party. The poor girl has been stuck at the hotel this whole time and then shows up so late everyone’s pretty much coupled up. She asks Aaron on the date, but he turns it down saying he wouldn’t be in the right space emotionally. The group sees that Mykenna is upset, but no one does anything about it until Ed checks on her and invites himself on a date. He has to try hard to convince her to go out and have fun, but ultimately succeeds. Their date is rollerblading, which actually looks fun – a rare normal date.

A priestess shows up to help Kenny and Mari with their rough patch. They do some spiritual stuff that seems to help. You do you.

Meanwhile, Noah tells Joe and Serena that he and Abi definitely like each other a lot, but this week is about being vulnerable – for better or for worse – and seeing if it will work out after the show. He tells the camera they’re one of the strongest couples on the beach right now, very close to something great and deeper. He wants to use the week for serious conversations. Serena approves of the relationship. Noah says he hasn’t told Abigail yet he’s falling in love with her, but he’s ready to do so and hopes she’s feeling the same way.

On the daybed, Noah talks to Abigail while they’re side by side. She doesn’t look at his lips at all. Maybe it’s quiet enough and he’s close enough that she’s able to follow. He tells her he wants to be completely transparent and put it all out there. He more than likes her, he’s falling in love with her, and can see it working in the real world. I swear I see her wink at him; I forgot to rewind to confirm. Regardless, she doesn’t say anything back. Noah thinks she just froze. He felt she had a guard up but was hoping she’d push past it. It’s hard for him to continue if he doesn’t get much of a response (does this sound familiar?) and isn’t sure what to do.

The next day, Noah tells Becca he didn’t sleep well the night before. Becca asks about the relationship. Noah says he’s trying to figure it out, that he told her how he felt, and she just froze. He’ll still try to make it work but has a gut feeling. To the camera, he says it’s a red flag. To Becca, he says his mind isn’t made up, but he has to make a decision and stick with it because things will get more complicated real fast.

Abigail and Serena see a sign for Paradise Prom, totally 80s, and jump up and down in excitement. She asks the group who’s never been asked to prom and raises her hand. She tells the camera she’s never been asked, so she’s never gone with a date. The only prom she went to, she got stuck in the elevator for almost the entire time and was only at the prom for 20 minutes.

Some of the guys do promposals. In case you were wondering how BIP would actually pull of an 80s theme, they get clothes and accessories to choose from. Abigail wears a pouffy, ruffly purple dress with a scrunchy or ribbon in her hair.

Joe knows about The Conversation, and that they’re struggling. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen but acknowledges they’re in trouble.

Noah tells Abigail as he puts a corsage on her wrist, “You’ve never been to prom. That’s a shame. You should have been to many proms. You deserve all the proms.”

To the camera, Abigail reveals, “I’m super excited. I feel like I’m definitely falling in love. [Don’t tell us, tell him!!] I’m not in love yet because I know him and I have a lot of things I want to talk to him about.” She’s just looking forward to establishing how they feel about each other and having a good time.

Wells spikes the punch and tells everyone they’ll be voting on superlatives and Prom King and Queen later. He holds the microphone right up to his lips – a pet peeve when I’m trying to lipread. Tia is lonely because everyone else is paired up. But Aaron grabs her, gives her a corsage, and they end up full on making out. Where did that come from‽

Riley says if he doesn’t get Prom King, it should be Noah and Abigail, as they look good together.

Superlative time! Abigail and Noah are voted most likely to live happily ever after (which of course means they won’t). Abigail is excited, as this is the validation she’s been looking for. “Apparently [Noah] said he was falling in love with me last night and I didn’t register it until later,” Abigail says. “He said it so fast that I thought he accidentally said it, so I think I want to tell him tonight when we’re slow dancing or something.”

OK, I love Abigail, but dafuq? Once it registered, why didn’t she say something to Noah? Why didn’t he realize if he’s going to tell her something monumental that maybe, just maybe, he ought to make sure she hears/sees?

Joe and Serena are crowned Prom King and Queen. Everyone watches them slow dance, which is awkward.

Watching them, Abigail feels she’s definitely falling in love with Noah and plans to tell him tonight. But they slow dance, and she doesn’t follow through. ABIGAIL!

Noah is conflicted on what he should do. He asks Abigail if she wants to chat. She doesn’t catch it, so he says it again. THIS IS A CLUE, NOAH! Get with the program!

Right now there’s two sides of Noah, he says, both convinced each is right. One is based on emotion and starting to fall in love, and another’s based on a deeper feeling and intuition that’s kind of hard to ignore.

He tells Abigail — this time looking right at her (good job, bro!) — that he has strong feelings for her and feels like he’s falling in love with her and deciding what to do with that. He tells the camera that Abigail’s who he wanted to meet on BIP, but just before they’re about to get more serious, he feels he should listen to his gut which says she’s not the right choice. It might have worked out had they talked about it last night, he tells the camera, but now he knows what he has to do and has to try not to hurt Abigail.

They move to a quieter area, where he essentially breaks up with her. He does a good job of it, telling her how much fun they’ve had and how surprised he was at his feelings. However, he feels he’s been trying to force something when deep down he isn’t sure if she’s his person. She hinted at the situation the other day when she asked if they were just prolonging the inevitable. The feeling he’s had since early on, he hasn’t been able to ignore, and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to get to where he wants to be.

Throughout all this, Abigail is listening intently, yet she never makes eye contact with him. She doesn’t show any emotion, yet he has tears coursing down his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this blindsided before,” she says. “How do you go from telling someone you’re falling in love with them the night before to this conversation? And you were the one who constantly said I’m not going to say anything I don’t mean and I don’t want to make false promises, but then you ultimately ended up doing that.”

Noah asserts that what he said last night is still true. She rips her corsage off and tells him he’s a little too late in being honest. Abigail doesn’t know what he wants her to say. She’s confused and annoyed, because he’s been pushing her to try to get to his level, yet he’s obviously had this gut feeling for more than 24 hours and still chose to tell her he was falling in love. This has nothing to do with her, Noah replies.

“I know it has nothing to do with me,” Abigail says. “I don’t have anything to be blamed for this.”

After Noah says he doesn’t know if she’s his person, she gets snippy and says she doesn’t want to hear it again because he’s said it enough times. It’s just going to hurt more every time he says it. She walks away as he puts his head in his hands.

“My entire Paradise is Noah,” Abigail laments. “I don’t know why Noah picked tonight to have this conversation. Maybe he got hit with the gravity of what he said the night before. Maybe he just went into panic mode. None of it makes sense to me.”

Noah follows her up the steps. Does she hear him coming? He tries to talk to her, but she ignores him. She feels he’s running away from something and isn’t telling her what it is. She goes into the bathroom and sobs.

I think they’re both at fault here, and Abigail’s not as blameless as she thinks. Why did she never tell him how she felt? She had several opportunities to do so. From what I’ve seen on social media, Abigail isn’t garnering much sympathy. She’s even called a robot. Hopefully she learns and grows from this. We’ll find out after the three hour finale next week!

BIP E9 Abigail Becomes a Meme

Noah opens the episode narrating the Joe, Serena, and Kendall situation. Joe and Kendall talk and discover they’re on different pages. Actually, Kendall’s in a whole other book. She displays some smarts by realizing she can’t torture herself anymore, and leaves Paradise.

Becca lists the solid couples, including Abigail and Noah (still) – shown in the pool (still).

Two guys arrive: Demar and Ed. They ask Chelsea and Natasha on dates where they paint each other.

Meanwhile, Noah surprises Abigail with a date. He gives her a piggyback ride and says, “Remember when I told you we’d get a hammock and margaritas?” I wonder if she was able to understand him or if she didn’t get it until the reveal. She tells him she’s very impressed.

Noah tells the camera it’s a week for serious conversations. There’s a lot he and Abigail have to talk about. They haven’t told each other that they’re falling in love. Don’t get your hopes up; if they have a serious conversation, it’s not shown on air.

Kenny gets a date card and takes Mari on a cooking date. The chef says presentation is the most important. The plating will be their bodies. So they eat tacos off each other’s naked bodies, sour cream running down legs and all. It’s every bit as gross as you’d expect, though to their credit, they don’t seem to be inhibited by the chef’s presence.

Kenny and Mari talk about their relationship and admit they’re falling in love with each other. Abigail and Noah are shown kissing in a hammock at night. Maurissa wants to know why Riley holds so much back. He finally opens up and shares about his family, and then they admit they’re falling for each other.

Serena lists the serious relationships, as if we haven’t heard this a million times already.

Then, even more drama! Instead of a rose ceremony or cocktail party, everyone has evacuate because a dangerous tropical storm is approaching. While the crew is notifying everyone, Abigail’s about to eat a French fry and stops it in midair. Thus, a meme is born.

https://twitter.com/713Xjose/status/1440490289408331787

Everyone’s super dramatic. Oh no, Paradise could be shut down for good! I don’t know when I’ll see X again! Civilization will cease to exist! My brain cells will atrophy!

Spoiler alert: No one dies. They all return to Paradise, which is still standing. Despite the daytime, they have an hour to get ready for the cocktail party. With 8 women and 12 men, four guys are going home.

There’s a quick glimpse of Noah who’s wearing even more gold necklaces. Abigail’s seen wiping something off his face while they’re in a hammock, so clearly they’ve reached the old married couple stage of the relationship.

Tia is torn between James and Blake. One gives her the attention she craves, while the other makes her vagina sing. What’s a girl to do?

Aaron walks down a makeshift runway for Chelsea, the runway model. She admits she likes him more than Demar. But then Ivan, desperate for a rose, pulls her aside and they end up vibing. And by vibing, I mean kissing. Aaron won’t have this. He calls Ivan a desperate little bitch boy and calls him out for saying he wasn’t trying to take someone else’s rose. There’s face to face yelling, which we’ll see more of next week in a “three hour extravaganza.” It’s not even the finale, which is the following week. This show…

BIP E8 Pool Time

The episode opens with [soft, tense music] just before the third rose ceremony. With 9 guys and 14 girls, it’s the largest number of girls going home so far. Abigail summarizes this for the camera, and says a lot of people are really nervous.

Thankfully, the bizarre hypocrisy of last week when everyone called out Chris but not Brendan is somewhat rectified. A small group, led by Joe, confronts Brendan, who denies things and blows them off. But ultimately, he and Pieper leave, blaming the environment.

There’s an extended scene of Maurissa playing a whipped cream game with Riley. He picks a body part out of a bowl, and that’s where she licks whipped cream off of him. Including his toe. Despite that deliciousness, they end up in the Boom Boom Room.

Thomas tells Tammy he’s more interested in Becca. Tammy tries to convince him to stay with her. Tammy is a great feminist role model. Tammy has a meltdown and says it’s the worst birthday of her life. Last year she got COVID on her birthday, yet she says this is worse. Tammy is a great public health role model.

Everyone sings Happy Birthday to Tammy. Abigail is next to her, singing along. I wonder if she can sing in tune. I’m always self conscious about singing the HBD song ever since I found out it has a tune (duh, I know!).

Natasha is given a rose to make up for her shitty experience so far.

Abigail says she’s super grateful for where she and Noah are. When he offers the rose, he says, “You’ve been the surprising little butter to my toast and I’m excited to see where this goes.”

“That was cute,” Abigail tells him.

To the camera, Abigail says, “There was drama, tension in paradise. We were able to survive up until this point and just focus on our relationship.”

The four girls who leave are Tammy, Demi, Jessenia, and Deandra.

The new celebrity host is Lil Jon, who has grills. Not only do I find that unattractive, but I would imagine that makes it difficult to lipread!

The first new guy to show up is Blake from Clare’s season, who might be the cutest guy on the beach so far. He picks Tia for an off road vehicle date. The best line of the night goes to Tia, who says, “If it doesn’t make your vagina dance, it’s not worth it.” Needless to say, she confirms that her vagina dances when she’s with Blake.

Kenny and Mari think they’re leaving BIP together. They go to the Boom Boom Room to cement it. The gross thing is Maurissa has been leaving her stuff in there. Has the bed been cleaned in between visits? Gross!

The second new guy who shows up is Dr. Joe, who picks Natasha. They have a dinner date with the largest margarita goblets I’ve ever seen. Everyone wants Natasha to have a good date after being screwed over by Brendan. But the producers have a trick up their sleeves. They gave Natasha a rose, only to bring in Brendan’s best friend. Sure enough, once he finds out what happened, he loses interest and stands by his friend. Jerk.

Abigail and Noah are called out a couple of times during the episode for being one of the established couples. One time they’re shown kissing on a hammock or bed, but multiple (different) times, they make out in the pool. One time Abigail even has something sticking out of her mouth, and Noah leans in to grab it with his mouth. Another time, there’s a scene that almost looks sexual.

https://twitter.com/tswiftsbt13/status/1437951459291766794

Looks like they have their mojo back! And hopefully they no longer have pruned skin from all that time in the water!

Joe sets up an evening picnic for Serena, and they admit to each other that they’re falling in love. Joe’s ex Kendall is stupidly sitting where she can see them, and finally walks away.

The final scene has Aaron listing facts from his stay on BIP. One of them is, “When it comes to Noah, Noah doesn’t no-ah when to shut the fuck up. Fact.”

BIP E7 VIP Party

Someone asks Noah — who’s hanging out with some of the guys — if he and Abigail are a thing. Noah confirms this, but says it could be better; they have to work out a couple of things. “You sound thrilled!” someone notes. “I just woke up, buddy,” Noah replies.

When he’s ostensibly woken up a bit, he tells the camera how happy he is that the guys have the roses. He’s feeling good, and he and Abigail are doing great.

The new celebrity guest host is Tituss Burgess, who announces that he’s throwing a special VIP party that night, with only a few from the group invited – a “tit-ass party.” All the guys are included, and only some of the girls, like Abigail. Some girls were clearly invited to create drama.

Abigail walks in on Noah’s arm to a room that’s decorated like a club, with a dance floor that’s lit up. There’s a shot of Abigail happily dancing. Thankfully, Noah doesn’t talk to any of the new girls.

Of course there’s a twist. Tituss says there will be other guests, who might be recognized. All bets are off; if anyone makes a connection with one of the new VIPs, they could potentially join the house. Four women enter: Chelsea, Alana, Alayah, and Mykenna.

Chris blindsides Jessenia by going for Alana. She catches them kissing in another room. Abigail consoles a sobbing Jessenia (and at the beginning of the episode, she wipes glitter off Mari’s face – the friend we all need and want!).

The VIP party continues with a surprise concert by Olivia Holt, an “acclaimed singer/actress.” That description seems like a stretch. Chris and Alana make out in full view, causing everyone to feel bad for Jessenia and annoyed with Chris.

The next morning, Alana shows up at the house and asks Chris on a date. Chris is told he should talk to Jessenia before he leaves. Abigail is sitting with Jessenia when he approaches. I noticed her eyes were always on who was talking. Jessenia tells Chris that she has nothing to talk to him about. “Badass,” Abigail tells her when Chris walks away.

Chelsea joins the house. Everyone remarks on how stunning and super tall she is. Abigail is laying next to Noah and smiles at her. Becca asks Serena, “You know her the best. Who do you think she’ll pick? Who’s her type?” Serena says that Abigail’s probably the better judge of this. She moves so she’s in Abigail’s line of sight and repeats the question to Abigail, knowing she probably didn’t hear it. Abigail says Thomas, but Chelsea picks Aaron. They go horseback riding on the beach and then have a picnic and make out.

Tammy’s happy and secure with Thomas but worried about being blindsided. So guess what happens? She gets blindsided when Becca gets a date card and picks him. They have a dinner date that ends with mariachi music. Thomas says all the right things, Becca’s a “smitten kitten” (groan), and they kiss. When they start dancing, Becca says, “Oh my god, you’re so tall!” That must have been like foreplay for Thomas!

Meanwhile, Joe has been suspicious of Chris, who had asked how to get followers. Jessenia says Alana has talked about this before too. When Chris and Alana return from their date (where they went ziplining and had a badly choreographed make out session), Joe appoints himself as judge, jury, and executioner. He grills Chris, calls him on his BS, and says he should leave. Jessenia flat out asks him to pack his bags and leave. Chris and Alana look shell shocked but ultimately leave – in separate cars.

This whole thing is bizarre because it’s similar to Brendan and Pieper, only they’ve been all but ignored. Brendan and Pieper were more blatant in their strategy for clout. Perhaps it’s an editorial choice to give them little airtime after they were unmasked. Hopefully next week, they’ll get their comeuppance as well.