BIP E7 Pool Time

The episode opens with [soft, tense music] just before the third rose ceremony. With 9 guys and 14 girls, it’s the largest number of girls going home so far. Abigail summarizes this for the camera, and says a lot of people are really nervous.

Thankfully, the bizarre hypocrisy of last week when everyone called out Chris but not Brendan is somewhat rectified. A small group, led by Joe, confronts Brendan, who denies things and blows them off. But ultimately, he and Pieper leave, blaming the environment.

There’s an extended scene of Maurissa playing a whipped cream game with Riley. He picks a body part out of a bowl, and that’s where she licks whipped cream off of him. Including his toe. Despite that deliciousness, they end up in the Boom Boom Room.

Thomas tells Tammy he’s more interested in Becca. Tammy tries to convince him to stay with her. Tammy is a great feminist role model. Tammy has a meltdown and says it’s the worst birthday of her life. Last year she got COVID on her birthday, yet she says this is worse. Tammy is a great public health role model.

Everyone sings Happy Birthday to Tammy. Abigail is next to her, singing along. I wonder if she can sing in tune. I’m always self conscious about singing the HBD song ever since I found out it has a tune (duh, I know!).

Natasha is given a rose to make up for her shitty experience so far.

Abigail says she’s super grateful for where she and Noah are. When he offers the rose, he says, “You’ve been the surprising little butter to my toast and I’m excited to see where this goes.”

“That was cute,” Abigail tells him.

To the camera, Abigail says, “There was drama, tension in paradise. We were able to survive up until this point and just focus on our relationship.”

The four girls who leave are Tammy, Demi, Jessenia, and Deandra.

The new celebrity host is Lil Jon, who has grills. Not only do I find that unattractive, but I would imagine that makes it difficult to lipread!

The first new guy to show up is Blake from Clare’s season, who might be the cutest guy on the beach so far. He picks Tia for an off road vehicle date. The best line of the night goes to Tia, who says, “If it doesn’t make your vagina dance, it’s not worth it.” Needless to say, she confirms that her vagina dances when she’s with Blake.

Kenny and Mari think they’re leaving BIP together. They go to the Boom Boom Room to cement it. The gross thing is Maurissa has been leaving her stuff in there. Has the bed been cleaned in between visits? Gross!

The second new guy who shows up is Dr. Joe, who picks Natasha. They have a dinner date with the largest margarita goblets I’ve ever seen. Everyone wants Natasha to have a good date after being screwed over by Brendan. But the producers have a trick up their sleeves. They gave Natasha a rose, only to bring in Brendan’s best friend. Sure enough, once he finds out what happened, he loses interest and stands by his friend. Jerk.

Abigail and Noah are called out a couple of times during the episode for being one of the established couples. One time they’re shown kissing on a hammock or bed, but multiple (different) times, they make out in the pool. One time Abigail even has something sticking out of her mouth, and Noah leans in to grab it with his mouth. Another time, there’s a scene that almost looks sexual.

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Looks like they have their mojo back! And hopefully they no longer have pruned skin from all that time in the water!

Joe sets up an evening picnic for Serena, and they admit to each other that they’re falling in love. Joe’s ex Kendall is stupidly sitting where she can see them, and finally walks away.

The final scene has Aaron listing facts from his stay on BIP. One of them is, “When it comes to Noah, Noah doesn’t no-ah when to shut the fuck up. Fact.”

BIP E7 VIP Party

Someone asks Noah — who’s hanging out with some of the guys — if he and Abigail are a thing. Noah confirms this, but says it could be better; they have to work out a couple of things. “You sound thrilled!” someone notes. “I just woke up, buddy,” Noah replies.

When he’s ostensibly woken up a bit, he tells the camera how happy he is that the guys have the roses. He’s feeling good, and he and Abigail are doing great.

The new celebrity guest host is Tituss Burgess, who announces that he’s throwing a special VIP party that night, with only a few from the group invited – a “tit-ass party.” All the guys are included, and only some of the girls, like Abigail. Some girls were clearly invited to create drama.

Abigail walks in on Noah’s arm to a room that’s decorated like a club, with a dance floor that’s lit up. There’s a shot of Abigail happily dancing. Thankfully, Noah doesn’t talk to any of the new girls.

Of course there’s a twist. Tituss says there will be other guests, who might be recognized. All bets are off; if anyone makes a connection with one of the new VIPs, they could potentially join the house. Four women enter: Chelsea, Alana, Alayah, and Mykenna.

Chris blindsides Jessenia by going for Alana. She catches them kissing in another room. Abigail consoles a sobbing Jessenia (and at the beginning of the episode, she wipes glitter off Mari’s face – the friend we all need and want!).

The VIP party continues with a surprise concert by Olivia Holt, an “acclaimed singer/actress.” That description seems like a stretch. Chris and Alana make out in full view, causing everyone to feel bad for Jessenia and annoyed with Chris.

The next morning, Alana shows up at the house and asks Chris on a date. Chris is told he should talk to Jessenia before he leaves. Abigail is sitting with Jessenia when he approaches. I noticed her eyes were always on who was talking. Jessenia tells Chris that she has nothing to talk to him about. “Badass,” Abigail tells her when Chris walks away.

Chelsea joins the house. Everyone remarks on how stunning and super tall she is. Abigail is laying next to Noah and smiles at her. Becca asks Serena, “You know her the best. Who do you think she’ll pick? Who’s her type?” Serena says that Abigail’s probably the better judge of this. She moves so she’s in Abigail’s line of sight and repeats the question to Abigail, knowing she probably didn’t hear it. Abigail says Thomas, but Chelsea picks Aaron. They go horseback riding on the beach and then have a picnic and make out.

Tammy’s happy and secure with Thomas but worried about being blindsided. So guess what happens? She gets blindsided when Becca gets a date card and picks him. They have a dinner date that ends with mariachi music. Thomas says all the right things, Becca’s a “smitten kitten” (groan), and they kiss. When they start dancing, Becca says, “Oh my god, you’re so tall!” That must have been like foreplay for Thomas!

Meanwhile, Joe has been suspicious of Chris, who had asked how to get followers. Jessenia says Alana has talked about this before too. When Chris and Alana return from their date (where they went ziplining and had a badly choreographed make out session), Joe appoints himself as judge, jury, and executioner. He grills Chris, calls him on his BS, and says he should leave. Jessenia flat out asks him to pack his bags and leave. Chris and Alana look shell shocked but ultimately leave – in separate cars.

This whole thing is bizarre because it’s similar to Brendan and Pieper, only they’ve been all but ignored. Brendan and Pieper were more blatant in their strategy for clout. Perhaps it’s an editorial choice to give them little airtime after they were unmasked. Hopefully next week, they’ll get their comeuppance as well.

BIP E6 The Reconciliation

Noah’s had some time to think about what he wants out of Paradise and his relationship with Abigail. He realized that he has feelings for her. Joe advises him to try again if he thinks it’s worth it, and to take things to the next level. Noah thinks that’s something both he and Abigail want. He doesn’t think they should throw it all away just because there’s a couple of small things to work on. Surprisingly, the weight of all his necklaces isn’t draining his brainpower!

Noah and Abigail have a face to face, heart to heart conversation on the couch. Abigail admits that she doesn’t communicate very well. Noah thinks she has guards up. He’s giving and not getting much in return. He admits he could have verbalized this, so she’d be more aware, and says he could have done a better job. Abigail says she’ll work on communicating better.

Is this for real? An honest, mature conversation on BIP? Someone pinch me!

Abigail honestly thought she messed things up, which made her realize how much she cares about him and wants to try to do this.

“So you still wanna be the power couple of the beach?” Noah jokes.

“Royalty,” she replies.

*KISS* [soft music]

Noah tells the camera he’s feeling good and is happy about where they are. Whether it was the environment, poor communication, his being a dick, he doesn’t know. He says, “We got in our heads and overcomplicated things that don’t need to be overcomplicated.” (Like that sentence.)

They kiss. And not just a peck, either. They really kiss. Because they really mean it this time.

There’s drama with the love triangle – or square – with Kenny, Demi, and Mari (and Tia?). Kenny is a 40-year-old man who has a rope necklace plus a thick silver chain necklace. Why they all want this bro (who admittedly is quite fit) is unclear.

Jessenia says Abigail and Noah look so cute together. “Every time we see them as a pair, we gush over it,” she says. Cue to a shot of them by the pool. Noah kisses Abigail’s shoulder. All together now, Aww!

Natasha tells the camera how hopeful she is about Brendan. Which means she’s gonna get screwed – and not in the Boom Boom Room way. Yup, Pieper shows up and immediately picks Brendan for her date. There were rumors earlier in the show that they’d dated prior to BIP. Turns out they had more of an actual relationship than they let on. They’re on the show to increase followers, but this strategy backfires when they’re given the villain edit (and rightly so). Apparently their follower count has been going down since the truth came out, and Natasha’s has been increasing. Now that’s karma!

The end credit scene features Serena and Joe (who has a convo with his ex at the beginning of the episode, realized he may no longer love her, and is committed to seeing things through with Serena) doing a blind taste test. Serena feeds him warm lunch meat (eew). Then for the last test, she kisses him. Jokingly, Joe guesses, “Abigail?” LOL.

BIP S7 E3

This episode opens with everyone chilling, and ends with two people demonstrating the Netflix version.

Noah rattles off the couples to the camera, including him and Abigail. Cue to a shot of them in the pool.

Then there’s a boombox with a note that says, “Play me.” The music that plays is from NSYNC. While this is a creative way to introduce the new celebrity guest host, Lance Bass, my first thought went to Abigail. This isn’t exactly an inclusive way to share the news. She’s shown holding her hands over her hears, like the noise is too loud. But later, she’s shown dancing. Does she even recognize the music?

Abigail does understand when Lance asks who wants a mimosa. She shoots her hand up in the air and yells a “Whoa!”

The guys from Katie’s season talk about Thomas, the villain from their group, and how they don’t want him on the show. Do they not understand how it works? Of course he’s the next person to arrive, date card and all.

He goes to Abigail first and asks if she wants to give him a tour. They don’t show the tour, just the two of them sitting and chatting. Meanwhile, Noah says if Thomas is into her, he’s not going to take that well. I sure hope so!

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Thomas tells Abigail she had a first date with Noah and now they’re getting married. Abigail says it’s still early. Guess she’s still keeping her options open. Thomas asks about the couples, so she fills him in.

Thomas proves he’s still a villain by using the same lines on all the girls, and doing anything possible to emphasize his height and girth. After talking to most/all of the girls, he picks Serena P. for his date. Abigail thinks people are still figuring out who Thomas is a little bit. She also thinks Serena has an open mind about pursuing Joe (who she’s been coupled up with). There are shots of Abigail looking pensive/disturbed, which comes across oddly because of the editing. Maybe she was contemplating the best way to get a good edit on this show — it’s working so far!

When Abigail is talking to the other girls, she’s actually in prime position. They’re all in a row in front of her. I wonder if that was done on purpose. I know I’m always thinking about the best seating position when I’m in a group.

Another shot of Abigail and Noah in the pool, with their legs intertwined underwater.

The next contestant arrives: Riley. Abigail confirms when someone next to her says he’s a lawyer, without having seen the speaker. Tre describes him as being cut from granite. He picks Maurissa for his date. They get a Fear Factor kind of date, where they have to eat gross food if they don’t answer a question. The camera spends too much time showing us the gross food (tongue, chicken feet, etc.). Maurissa’s eyelashes look like spiders. They make out and end up in the Boom Boom Room.

Serena and Thomas have a good date, but Serena tells him to pursue other people. There’s a shot of Abigail and Noah on one of the outdoor beds; Abigail’s on her stomach leaning on him. Thomas apologizes to Katie’s guys for his behavior on the show, and agrees that his actions will have to back him up. But of course they don’t and karma bites him in the ass.

Connor sings his song about BIP to Jessenia and Abigail in the end credit scene. They’re not far from the waves, but Abigail seems to move to the music. His face looks down while he sings, but Abigail catches the line about her being a sweetheart and laughs.