Tag: bachelorinparadise

BIP E11 The Finale

The prom-goers get suspicious when they realize they haven’t seen Noah and Abigail in a while. That’s because they’ve been busy breaking up!

When Abigail finishes her crying jag in the bathroom, Noah asks if they can at least finish chatting and puts his arm around her shoulder. She takes it off. He says he wasn’t trying to blindside her. She asks why he waited until now. He explains that part of the struggle was that he wanted it to work out.

Finalllllly, Abigail tells him that she was actually planning to tell him she was falling in love with him too. He pushed her to open up, she says. “Like, that [bleep] hurts!”

“At the end of the day, I wasn’t your person,” Noah says. Abigail responds, “You’re right. You’re not my person. I kind of just want to forget about this and just…move on.” She’s emotional and puts her hands over her face. When she says, “I don’t want to do this anymore,” she must not have been speaking clearly because subtitles are provided on the screen.

The drawn-out drama ends when they hug goodbye. Noah leaves Paradise with dramatic music and no regrets. He denies having lied to Abigail and calls their time together fun and effortless. They were great, but not each other’s soulmates, he adds.

Abigail, meanwhile, returns to the prom where she tells Chelsea that she and Noah are going home separately. Chelsea, Serena, and Mari (Abigail’s friends from Matt’s season) console Abigail as she tells them what happened. She calls out Noah for getting to walk out of BIP without having to face anyone. Abigail feels humiliated. Serena says Noah should be, and Mari reassures her that she did nothing wrong. They all wonder why Noah waited until the end of Paradise. The girls are mad on Abigail’s behalf.

Abigail leaves the prom and walks up the stairs barefoot. Serena reels from the news, because they’ve been attached at the hip the whole time and she can’t imagine being at Paradise without her.

In the car, Abigail says she’s numb and it’ll take some time to process everything because she was blindsided. “That’s what hurts the most about all of this is he was the one to say he was falling in love and for him to just give no indication that anything was wrong or having doubts, it fucking hurts,” she says. “Why would he get me all happy and excited just to take that away from me?”

Abigail’s theory is that Noah is scared, which is causing him to hold back and use his gut feeling as an excuse. She knows she can’t convince him to stay with her and work it out; he needs to figure it out on his own.

Word spreads about the breakup, leaving everyone in shock. They were all inspired by a relationship that started on Day 1, but now they’re scared because if a couple doing that well can crumble, what does that mean for them? Thomas calls Abigail one of the sweetest people he’s ever met. Joe calls the break up a reality check for everyone.

The breakup remains the topic of conversation for a while. Serena and Mari fill Wells in on the drama. Mari says you never know what’s going on in someone’s head, which is why you need open and honest conversation.

The rest of the episode is predictable. The cocktail party is cancelled, couples have serious conversations about whether they want to stay together, continue on to the Fantasy Suites, or even possibly get engaged. I still don’t understand why it seems to be an all or nothing choice. But several “couples” break up, yet a new couple leaves Paradise together: James and Aaron, BFF Forever. That part is clearly staged but hilarious.

The three remaining couples are Riley and Maurissa, Mari and Kenny, and Joe and Serena. They all have Fantasy Suite dates, which basically means they get alone time without cameras. You know what THAT means! We’re treated to an unnecessarily graphic preview before they close the doors.

The remaining six people all say ILY to each other. They all get engaged. But before Joe proposes to Serena, his ex shows up to talk to him. Totally unnecessary producer manipulation and a time filler.

In the end, we’re provided with some cast updates. Two couples got back together after BIP, including Abigail and Noah, who are now “taking things SLOWLY!” Um, how much slower could they get?

Abigail posted a video montage on Instagram (which I can’t share because it’s a Reel), with the caption, “I love you, @noah_erb.” Looks like they’ve made lots of progress, though I wonder how they got over what he said to her. Hopefully this match made in reality TV heaven will last…

And now we know deaf people really can do anything – even survive a break up on national TV!

https://twitter.com/realitybysteph/status/1445587611997728772

BIP E9 Abigail Becomes a Meme

Noah opens the episode narrating the Joe, Serena, and Kendall situation. Joe and Kendall talk and discover they’re on different pages. Actually, Kendall’s in a whole other book. She displays some smarts by realizing she can’t torture herself anymore, and leaves Paradise.

Becca lists the solid couples, including Abigail and Noah (still) – shown in the pool (still).

Two guys arrive: Demar and Ed. They ask Chelsea and Natasha on dates where they paint each other.

Meanwhile, Noah surprises Abigail with a date. He gives her a piggyback ride and says, “Remember when I told you we’d get a hammock and margaritas?” I wonder if she was able to understand him or if she didn’t get it until the reveal. She tells him she’s very impressed.

Noah tells the camera it’s a week for serious conversations. There’s a lot he and Abigail have to talk about. They haven’t told each other that they’re falling in love. Don’t get your hopes up; if they have a serious conversation, it’s not shown on air.

Kenny gets a date card and takes Mari on a cooking date. The chef says presentation is the most important. The plating will be their bodies. So they eat tacos off each other’s naked bodies, sour cream running down legs and all. It’s every bit as gross as you’d expect, though to their credit, they don’t seem to be inhibited by the chef’s presence.

Kenny and Mari talk about their relationship and admit they’re falling in love with each other. Abigail and Noah are shown kissing in a hammock at night. Maurissa wants to know why Riley holds so much back. He finally opens up and shares about his family, and then they admit they’re falling for each other.

Serena lists the serious relationships, as if we haven’t heard this a million times already.

Then, even more drama! Instead of a rose ceremony or cocktail party, everyone has evacuate because a dangerous tropical storm is approaching. While the crew is notifying everyone, Abigail’s about to eat a French fry and stops it in midair. Thus, a meme is born.

https://twitter.com/713Xjose/status/1440490289408331787

Everyone’s super dramatic. Oh no, Paradise could be shut down for good! I don’t know when I’ll see X again! Civilization will cease to exist! My brain cells will atrophy!

Spoiler alert: No one dies. They all return to Paradise, which is still standing. Despite the daytime, they have an hour to get ready for the cocktail party. With 8 women and 12 men, four guys are going home.

There’s a quick glimpse of Noah who’s wearing even more gold necklaces. Abigail’s seen wiping something off his face while they’re in a hammock, so clearly they’ve reached the old married couple stage of the relationship.

Tia is torn between James and Blake. One gives her the attention she craves, while the other makes her vagina sing. What’s a girl to do?

Aaron walks down a makeshift runway for Chelsea, the runway model. She admits she likes him more than Demar. But then Ivan, desperate for a rose, pulls her aside and they end up vibing. And by vibing, I mean kissing. Aaron won’t have this. He calls Ivan a desperate little bitch boy and calls him out for saying he wasn’t trying to take someone else’s rose. There’s face to face yelling, which we’ll see more of next week in a “three hour extravaganza.” It’s not even the finale, which is the following week. This show…

BIP E8 Pool Time

The episode opens with [soft, tense music] just before the third rose ceremony. With 9 guys and 14 girls, it’s the largest number of girls going home so far. Abigail summarizes this for the camera, and says a lot of people are really nervous.

Thankfully, the bizarre hypocrisy of last week when everyone called out Chris but not Brendan is somewhat rectified. A small group, led by Joe, confronts Brendan, who denies things and blows them off. But ultimately, he and Pieper leave, blaming the environment.

There’s an extended scene of Maurissa playing a whipped cream game with Riley. He picks a body part out of a bowl, and that’s where she licks whipped cream off of him. Including his toe. Despite that deliciousness, they end up in the Boom Boom Room.

Thomas tells Tammy he’s more interested in Becca. Tammy tries to convince him to stay with her. Tammy is a great feminist role model. Tammy has a meltdown and says it’s the worst birthday of her life. Last year she got COVID on her birthday, yet she says this is worse. Tammy is a great public health role model.

Everyone sings Happy Birthday to Tammy. Abigail is next to her, singing along. I wonder if she can sing in tune. I’m always self conscious about singing the HBD song ever since I found out it has a tune (duh, I know!).

Natasha is given a rose to make up for her shitty experience so far.

Abigail says she’s super grateful for where she and Noah are. When he offers the rose, he says, “You’ve been the surprising little butter to my toast and I’m excited to see where this goes.”

“That was cute,” Abigail tells him.

To the camera, Abigail says, “There was drama, tension in paradise. We were able to survive up until this point and just focus on our relationship.”

The four girls who leave are Tammy, Demi, Jessenia, and Deandra.

The new celebrity host is Lil Jon, who has grills. Not only do I find that unattractive, but I would imagine that makes it difficult to lipread!

The first new guy to show up is Blake from Clare’s season, who might be the cutest guy on the beach so far. He picks Tia for an off road vehicle date. The best line of the night goes to Tia, who says, “If it doesn’t make your vagina dance, it’s not worth it.” Needless to say, she confirms that her vagina dances when she’s with Blake.

Kenny and Mari think they’re leaving BIP together. They go to the Boom Boom Room to cement it. The gross thing is Maurissa has been leaving her stuff in there. Has the bed been cleaned in between visits? Gross!

The second new guy who shows up is Dr. Joe, who picks Natasha. They have a dinner date with the largest margarita goblets I’ve ever seen. Everyone wants Natasha to have a good date after being screwed over by Brendan. But the producers have a trick up their sleeves. They gave Natasha a rose, only to bring in Brendan’s best friend. Sure enough, once he finds out what happened, he loses interest and stands by his friend. Jerk.

Abigail and Noah are called out a couple of times during the episode for being one of the established couples. One time they’re shown kissing on a hammock or bed, but multiple (different) times, they make out in the pool. One time Abigail even has something sticking out of her mouth, and Noah leans in to grab it with his mouth. Another time, there’s a scene that almost looks sexual.

Looks like they have their mojo back! And hopefully they no longer have pruned skin from all that time in the water!

Joe sets up an evening picnic for Serena, and they admit to each other that they’re falling in love. Joe’s ex Kendall is stupidly sitting where she can see them, and finally walks away.

The final scene has Aaron listing facts from his stay on BIP. One of them is, “When it comes to Noah, Noah doesn’t no-ah when to shut the fuck up. Fact.”

BIP E5 The Conversation

*This is a picture from a previous Rose Ceremony. It’s hard to find ones to use!

Abigail and Noah have The Relationship Conversation. But first, the Tammy love triangle plays out. Even though Tammy started it, Abigail consoles her and asks what she wants.

The other love triangle involves Deandra, Chasen, and Karl. Chasen one-ups Karl by giving Deandra a necklace. Demi calls it “ugly ass jewelry,” and she’s not wrong. Noah fills Abigail in on Chasen’s gift. Did he do so because she literally hadn’t heard people talking about it?

Tre leaves before the Rose Ceremony. Lance announces one last surprise that will change everything. He introduces the first Bachelorette to appear on BIP, Becca Kufrin. She was Bachelorette on Season 14, in 2016. The guys all light up, but the girls are less than enthused. In fact, this propels Tahzjuan to leave.

“All I know is the second Becca showed up, Abigail’s never grabbed me as much,” Noah says.

Wells has been doing BIP for 5 years, but this is the craziest he’s ever seen it. Three men are going home. There’s a shot of Abigail looking nervous, which seems out of place. Ivan says it’d be nice to be in Abigail & Noah’s position. Of course, Abigail offers her rose to Noah, who happily accepts.

There’s a long shot of the “resort,” which isn’t very flattering. It looks a built up shack that could fall down any second.

Tia from Colton’s season arrives and begins another love triangle when she picks Kenny for her date, angering Demi.

Abigail talks to the other women about her relationship. She feels like Noah wants to just chill in Paradise, “all happy and stuff,” but she needs a little more. They have such a good emotional connection. She’s never been able to be friends with a guy or laugh this much with a guy. They’ve kissed and stuff, but they aren’t able to keep their hands off each other like the other couples. She’s wondering if they’re moving slower — which she’s ok with — or if they’re friend zoning each other.

Maurissa tells the camera that Noah & Abigail have so much fun together, but it seems they’re not sharing their true emotions with each other. This will bite their ass in the end, she says. They’re having fun but have to communicate.

“I just feel bad because I feel like I self sabotage,” Abigail says.

While she feels it’s going great with Noah, she also thinks he’s playing it safe. It’s hard for her to see other couples be all over each other and wonder why she and Noah aren’t there yet. Are they not pushing the relationship to its full potential, or are they just friends who should be exploring other options? She knows she has to have a conversation with him despite her nervousness about doing so.

Someone else notices Noah on the chaise by himself, looking moody, and asks what’s up with him. Jessenia explains that he and Abigail have been so comfortable recently. She says Abigail’s ready to have more serious conversations and for things to be a little more legit, while Noah’s just comfortable where he is. Jessenia feels bad because she knows Abigail really likes Noah and vice versa, but he takes things slower than she does.

Someone — can’t remember if it’s Jessenia or someone else — can imagine the couple making it beyond Paradise and would be surprised if they split up. To see them separately would make this person doubt the process.

Going into the conversation with Noah, Abigail says she doesn’t want to be stale in their “situationship,” but isn’t ready to throw it away. She tells Noah she’s really attracted to him and likes him, but is curious about what he wants out of their situationship and how he’s feeling about it.

Noah reassures her that he likes her and they’re solid. He thinks everyone’s obsessed with their relationship.

“I feel like you and I make a lot of sense,” Abigail says. “To everyone else we make sense. But why are we holding back from being full fledged? I love that it’s easy between us, but at the same time, it’s a blessing and a curse.”

They discuss whether they’re meant to be just friends. Abigail thinks he stopped trying. He tells her that a minute ago was the first time he heard her say, “I like you.” If he does something, he doesn’t get much of a response. Abigail says she didn’t realize she was giving off that vibe.

She wonders if they’re just delaying the inevitable or if they should try again. Noah needs some time to think. He tells the camera he’s blindsided.

Abigail cries while talking to the other girls. She feels bad and wonders if they’re doing something wrong. “Are we getting in each other’s way ‘cuz we’re scared to open up?” she asks. “I feel like we could be throwing away something potentially really good. I’ve never had something so easy. We’ve both said that. I think he just shut down.”

Serena says Abigail is her best friend there and it kills her to see Abigail so upset. This conversation with Noah was coming sooner rather than later, and it’s hard since they started off so strong.

Abigail continues to berate herself, saying she literally just self sabotaged. “We had such a good thing going and I just fucked it up,” she says. “It’s not even like I want to go on dates with anyone else. There’s no one else I’m interested in. It’s Noah.”

As a friend points out, Abigail is comparing her relationship to the others on BIP, and worried that they’re not moving as quickly as the others. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing because they’re probably going at a real world place, not a BIP pace.

I say it’s important to talk about the relationship and get everything on the table; that’s a mature move.

Meanwhile, the BIP producers must be on drugs when they dream up the dates. Tia and Kenny’s date is nude volleyball (with three strangers). Who wants to see the jiggly bits? What if they fall in the sand? The people, not the jiggly bits. Unless they’re all fake. Which is very possible!

The episode ends with Joe thinking he and Serena are the strongest couple with nothing getting in their way. Cue Kendall, his ex. Why do people go on this show? Don’t they know the producers will fuck with them?!

Anyway, the scenes with Noah and Abigail leave me confused. Did they break up? I think they’re just on the rocks, with their future to be determined next week…

BIP E4 Dumpster Fire

This episode is a dumpster fire, literally and figuratively. Two “smoke bros” (Apparently these are guys who call hot girls “smoke shows” – and now we’ve learned something. So why do I feel debased instead of educated?) show up, and their double date involves a triple XL bed, an intimacy guru, and a clothed reenactment of positions in the Kama Sutra.

https://gfycat.com/delectablespanishamericanwirehair

The next big scene — which is not so much awkward as it is an interesting editorial choice — features Abigail and Noah on the daybed. Abigail thinks she has a bug in her nose and discovers there IS a bug in her nose. We’re treated to a longer than expected scene about this, but I’d rather see a more humorous grossness than the ickiness that was the double date.

Come to think of it, this whole episode could be characterized as a gross fest. There are unnecessary close ups of couples making out with tongue (or even chewing food, in Chris’ case). I leave it to you to decide which is more palatable to watch: these makeout sessions or the Fear Factor buffet from Riley and Maurissa’s date.

Random thought: Kenny looks like Ryan Seacrest.

Noah and Abigail are in the background during Demi and Mari’s conversation. Someone — pretty sure it’s Abigail — gets up from the chaise and her butt is blurred. She is wearing a beige bikini, so maybe ABC was covering their bases (no pun intended).

Connor wears a crazy outfit that’s dubbed “kimono convict” by the boys. Joe and Serena have a date inside a wrestling ring. It ends with them wearing wrestling costumes. There are also love triangles, betrayals, Boom Boom Room action, and a cake thrown into the fire. Good lord, this show.

Sitting around the bonfire, Riley asks the others where’s the craziest place they’ve had sex. Abigail is second to answer. After thinking, she says, “On a golf course.” “Abigail!” someone exclaims. I’m impressed she even heard/saw the question since it’s dark, the flickering fire can make it hard to lipread due to its shadows, and there’s got to be background noise from the ocean.

It’s clear one reason why Noah and Abigail are a good fit is because they’re loyal, caring friends. When Ivan is reeling from his breakup with Jessenia, Noah consoles him. Likewise, Abigail is there for Mari.

Noah and Abigail get a few shout outs throughout the episode for being one of the solid couples. Though by the end, after several couples break up, are they the only ones left? Noah even says — as he’s hand in hand with Abigail on the chaise — that there’s been so much going on, it’s ridiculous.

When the women arrive at the Rose Ceremony, Deandra asks if anyone is confident in who they’re giving their rose to. Someone points to Abigail and says, “Abby!”

The episode will be continued tonight. In the preview, where “paradise is about to be turned upside down,” there’s a sad, solitary shot of Noah, and one of Abigail upset. Will the drama hit them next?