Tag: Bachelor

BIP E4 Dumpster Fire

This episode is a dumpster fire, literally and figuratively. Two “smoke bros” (Apparently these are guys who call hot girls “smoke shows” – and now we’ve learned something. So why do I feel debased instead of educated?) show up, and their double date involves a triple XL bed, an intimacy guru, and a clothed reenactment of positions in the Kama Sutra.

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The next big scene — which is not so much awkward as it is an interesting editorial choice — features Abigail and Noah on the daybed. Abigail thinks she has a bug in her nose and discovers there IS a bug in her nose. We’re treated to a longer than expected scene about this, but I’d rather see a more humorous grossness than the ickiness that was the double date.

Come to think of it, this whole episode could be characterized as a gross fest. There are unnecessary close ups of couples making out with tongue (or even chewing food, in Chris’ case). I leave it to you to decide which is more palatable to watch: these makeout sessions or the Fear Factor buffet from Riley and Maurissa’s date.

Random thought: Kenny looks like Ryan Seacrest.

Noah and Abigail are in the background during Demi and Mari’s conversation. Someone — pretty sure it’s Abigail — gets up from the chaise and her butt is blurred. She is wearing a beige bikini, so maybe ABC was covering their bases (no pun intended).

Connor wears a crazy outfit that’s dubbed “kimono convict” by the boys. Joe and Serena have a date inside a wrestling ring. It ends with them wearing wrestling costumes. There are also love triangles, betrayals, Boom Boom Room action, and a cake thrown into the fire. Good lord, this show.

Sitting around the bonfire, Riley asks the others where’s the craziest place they’ve had sex. Abigail is second to answer. After thinking, she says, “On a golf course.” “Abigail!” someone exclaims. I’m impressed she even heard/saw the question since it’s dark, the flickering fire can make it hard to lipread due to its shadows, and there’s got to be background noise from the ocean.

It’s clear one reason why Noah and Abigail are a good fit is because they’re loyal, caring friends. When Ivan is reeling from his breakup with Jessenia, Noah consoles him. Likewise, Abigail is there for Mari.

Noah and Abigail get a few shout outs throughout the episode for being one of the solid couples. Though by the end, after several couples break up, are they the only ones left? Noah even says — as he’s hand in hand with Abigail on the chaise — that there’s been so much going on, it’s ridiculous.

When the women arrive at the Rose Ceremony, Deandra asks if anyone is confident in who they’re giving their rose to. Someone points to Abigail and says, “Abby!”

The episode will be continued tonight. In the preview, where “paradise is about to be turned upside down,” there’s a sad, solitary shot of Noah, and one of Abigail upset. Will the drama hit them next?

The Bachelor – Week 3

This episode has no shortage of drama. You might as well call this episode The Sarah Show. It picks up where the last left off, with Sarah fainting during the Rose Ceremony.

As the women talk among themselves, I wonder how the producers determine their placement. Why would they place Abigail in the second row with a more potentially obstructed view?

When Chris comes in to announce the final rose, I remember another reason why I stopped watching this show. We all know it’s the final rose, Chris!

This week there’s three dates: two group dates and one “unbelievable romantic 1:1 date.” The Bachelor is known for nothing if not its hyperbole. I do feel for these women, who are stuck at a Pennsylvania resort because of COVID. Dates in past seasons are much more exciting and over the top, and eventually they travel to exotic locales. Then again, these women are still on national television and getting an escape from their every day lives.

Group Date

Apparently Matt needs to be pushed a little bit. He has trouble feeling uncomfortable, so the point of the group date is to be uncomfortable. When the group (sans Abigail) walks into the room, Ashley I. (past contestant) is reading an erotic scene from Chris’ book, The Perfect Letter. Turns out the women have to write their own sexy love story with Matt, sharing with the rest of the group and a live studio audience.

The live studio audience sounds scary but it ends up being the other women in the house. They’re seated in the back of the room. Abigail is shown at the beginning of this scene, and then we don’t see her until she’s at the house. A deaf friend and I independently wonder how Abigail is able to follow the women reading their stories on stage. I always sit in the front or near the front at things like this whenever possible. Maybe she can hear well with her CI, but then why would she talk about lipreading so much? Is the show not accommodating her like they should? Or is she not advocating for herself?

Katie tells the camera that she loves watching and hearing Matt talk, with his juicy lips. Ironic that it’s not Abigail saying this!

Back at the House

During the conversation at the house, when the camera pans over Abigail, she’s looking down as usual. Does it help her listen better? Or do they always just happen to catch her that way?

When there’s a knock at the door, Abigail tells the camera, “My heart just sinks every time I hear that knock [so I guess she does hear it?]. I really want that date card. I just feel like other girls are getting that time with him, exploring relationships with him. I just need more time at this point. I think the connection is there. It’s super easy to talk with him when I see him, but you can only do so much with so little time.”

Alas, the next date is a 1:1 for Serena P.

The Sarah Show

Sarah is having a difficult time on the show because she’s developed feelings for Matt, who’s dating 32 women. She can’t deal. She interrupts him on the group date, which pisses off the women because now they’re denied their time. Some don’t get to talk to him at all, because the producers must have told him he had to leave to ensure this drama.

Sarah hides back at the house, so Matt checks on her when he shows up for his date with Serena. Their date involves horseback riding, a picnic with donkeys, a dinner, and then making out in a hot tub. You know, the usual. Meanwhile, everyone at the house is bashing Sarah, who continues to hide in her room.

When the third date card shows up, Sarah finally makes an appearance. She apologizes to the women, explaining that she was thinking of leaving and had to talk to Matt, yada yada yada. The women push back. Abigail speaks up as a voice of reason: “So if you don’t want to be here, why are you taking someone else’s rose that really does wanna be here and trusts that process?”

The episode continues with the women bashing Sarah. When Katie checks on Sarah, we discover that while we knew her dad has ALS, he only has weeks to live. Yes, it’s time to go home, Sarah dear! [ETA: A friend read Reality Steve’s recap and reported that Sarah had a boyfriend right before she went on the show. She doesn’t live with her parents and isn’t her dad’s caretaker. Oh, and her dad is still alive, which is great. But this kind of misrepresentation shouldn’t be required for reality TV!]

When no one has seen Sarah for the third day in a row, Abigail says, “If she doesn’t show on the group date, I feel like that’s a big red flag for Matt.” The others agree. Then they find out Sarah has decided to leave. There’s a dramatic goodbye with Matt, and the episode ends before even showing Abigail’s group date. So now I’m pissed at Sarah too. Next week, five new girls show up.

But for now, Abigail is still there, looking rosy!