The two most asked questions I\u2019ve gotten this week are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How are you feeling?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n and<\/p>\n\n\n\n How are you doing emotionally?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Physically, every day is different. Generally, I seem to be following the same pattern as before. The first week is the worst with the nausea and then the extreme hunger from the steroids. When those finally improve, the mouth sores make an appearance as if to say, \u201cDon\u2019t forget about us!\u201d One dose of Magic Swizzle seems to do the trick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Next comes the headaches\/migraines and terrible stomach aches. Last time, I had a full on migraine for at least five days. This time it\u2019s either a headache or a slight migraine. So, some improvement?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Throughout it all of course is the fatigue, which varies in its intensity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Today? I have a headache, constantly watering eyes, and am tired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I\u2019m definitely appreciating the benefits of not having hair: quick showers, a quick morning routine, not needing to shave, and no bad hair days. Everyone who has seen me bald agrees that it looks good. Apparently I have a nice shaped head \u2013 who knew?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Today was also my annual dermatology check-up. I figure if I have skin cancer, it\u2019s being zapped by the chemo, but I kept the appointment to make sure nothing is developing (all clear!) and to ask the doctor a slew of questions, like what to use for the rash on my scalp, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As for how I\u2019m doing emotionally, that\u2019s a complex answer. It still feels surreal that I have breast cancer and that this is my new reality. Now that I\u2019m recognizing patterns following treatment, it makes me dread the next one more, knowing what\u2019s to come. And I\u2019ve seen things that make me worried for the second regimen (with Taxol). But each treatment, of course, brings me closer to being done. What else am I going to do? I have to get through this; I have no choice. It\u2019s just frustrating that I\u2019m getting all the side effects when so many people I know barely have any!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m still struggling with finding head coverings I like, which affects my mood. I got some slouchy beanies last week, but they too don\u2019t look great. Samara says I look like a hipster who smokes weed. Which for the record, I\u2019m not (says this Gen Xer)! I found a video that shows different headscarf styles and found two that might do. Of course the scarves I have aren\u2019t the right size (too long, too big, etc), so I wasted too much time online trying to find suitable options. One problem with scarves is if I nap, I have to undo and redo all the work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I also realized one thing this past week: Having breast cancer during COVID is its own punishment. If it wasn\u2019t for the pandemic, I would still be cautious and take the proper precautions when my WBC levels are lowest. But because of COVID, I have to be even more careful. It\u2019s not just about getting COVID (though of course that\u2019s scary too, as someone who is immunocompromised and gets all the weird and lasting side effects of everything!). Remember, if my temperature gets above 100, I have to call them and likely go to the hospital due to the current drugs I’m on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In normal times, for example, I\u2019d have regular visitors. The socialization would be a good distraction and help pass the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Earlier this week, two long-time dear friends passed through Pittsburgh on their way back from Nashville \u2014 the trip I cancelled. Due to one attendee testing positive the morning we were going to meet up outside, we settled for a half an hour visit through my closed front door. Thankfully we\u2019re all good lipreaders!<\/p>\n\n\n\n My in-laws are coming to see us, and my parents are coming for my third treatment. Whenever close family visits, we ask them to curtail any social activities at least a week prior and be extra careful about exposure. They also test the day of arrival.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For the most part, I\u2019ve been sticking close to home. However, even the voracious reader that I am can\u2019t read all day. Last Sunday, I did all the things to amuse myself, and then couldn\u2019t take anymore. Boredom reared its ugly head. Thinking about the months of this in front of me, makes me depressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But this is just half the battle. The other is assuming I even feel up for socializing or venturing beyond my driveway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thankfully next week, if past experience is any indication, I\u2019ll be feeling better and my WBC levels shouldn\u2019t be at their lowest. So I\u2019m hoping to go to two book club discussions (with my mask on, of course).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The two most asked questions I\u2019ve gotten this week are: How are you feeling? and How are you doing emotionally? Physically, every day is different. Generally, I seem to be following the same pattern as before. The first week is the worst with the nausea and then the extreme hunger from the steroids. When those […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=166"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":167,"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions\/167"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inmyhead.com\/wordpress\/fcancer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}