Lisa's F-Cancer Blog

I had a follow up appointment with Dr. Brufsky today. The upshot:

I’m cleared to get the shingles vaccine, which I should get now that I’m 50. I think I’ll go tomorrow after work. It’s supposed to rain all weekend and we have no plans, so it’s a good time to get it over with. I’m dreading it, because I hear the side effects are brutal – and even worse for the second shot 2-6 months later! I’ve had enough of feeling like crap (understatement of the year)!

Now that I’m no longer in active treatment and the cancer is gone, I can say I’m in remission. If it comes back, it’ll likely return within three years of diagnosis. There’s a 90+% chance it won’t come back. After 5 years, I’d be able to say I’m cured.

Over the next two years, I’ll see Dr. Brufsky every three months just to make sure everything is going ok. My next mammogram is six months after finishing radiation, so that will be early December. I asked if they’ll do an ultrasound with the mammogram given my diagnosis and dense breasts. Typically they don’t, but Madelyn said she’d check.

After two years, my visits will be every six months.

The ladies at the front desk were so excited to see me! The one who helped me schedule my next appointment said more than once how amazing I look. Frankly, anyone would look amazing after treatment!

I asked if Rosanne was working today so I could say hello, but she was off today.

This sign was on the check out counter – it’s so true.

I happen to be wearing the same top I wore the last time I posted a picture. So here’s an update! My curls are definitely poking their way through. My wavy sides can’t be controlled. Not quite in an awkward phase yet but getting there.

I have yet to try an apple to see if I can taste it, but will do that soon. I think I’ve been putting it off out of fear, haha.

A week from tomorrow will be my last day on the blood thinner. Yay!

My cancer wasn’t hormonal, so I don’t have to take medication for the next five years like many do.

Now the hardest part will be trying not to think about the odds and just living my life. And figuring out what tattoo I want to get to show that I’m a breast cancer survivor!

I can taste strawberries again!

They’re one of my favorite fruits, but due to the taste bud crap, have tasted like nothing. At a lunch Saturday, I took some sliced strawberries. Lo and behold, they tasted good! Yesterday at a graduation party, I took a large one and proved it wasn’t a fluke. Just in time for strawberry season!

Hopefully this means my taste buds are slowly coming back. Finally!

Next time I go to the grocery store, I’ll get an apple – another fruit that has tasted like nothing. Come to think of it, the yucky taste in my mouth has lessened slightly. Another good sign!

In other news, I still have five radiation stickers on my chest. Want to place bets on when they’ll come off? I actually got a break for once – the “peak” sunburn never materialized. The sunburn itself never really materialized. I just have some hives/itchy areas and overall it was a little redder than the other side. I just looked at the calendar and realized it’s been more than two weeks since I finished radiation, so I can stop moisturizing with aloe vera twice a day!

There’s not much I can do with my hair these days, but I discovered one thing! Instead of flattening the whole top of my head, I’m letting the curl escape a bit. It looks a little spiky and like it has more texture. I like it! The sides are in an awkward stage right now; gel doesn’t do much to contain the weird “wave.”

Speaking of hair, an article hit my inbox today: “Would I Look Good with Short Hair? Try the 2.25 Rule to Find Out.”

Naturally, I had to.

The steps involved standing in front of a mirror, holding a pen horizontally so that it was touching my chin, and positioning a ruler vertically beneath my ear so that the pencil and ruler intersect. The goal was to measure the distance from the bottom of my earlobe to the top of the pencil.

If it’s less than two and a quarter inches from my ear to the pencil, green light – short hair (like a chin-length bob) will look great on me. If it’s more than two and a quarter inches, “you may want to consider keeping a bit of length (think: a shoulder-grazing lob or longer).”

Apparently, it’s less about face shape, and more about the angle of your jawbone. There are exceptions to the rule, the article says, but this is a good test if toying with the idea of shorter hair. Or if, like me, you’re forced to have shorter hair, you can see if everyone is lying when they say it looks good. Ha!

It was a little tricky to do, but I’m definitely under two and a quarter inches. PHEW! I’d have been screwed otherwise, haha!

I miss my curls and do want to grow my hair out. The length is to be determined. I can always go shorter later on; the growing out is the hard part! Admittedly, it’s the perfect hairstyle for summer!

I am done with radiation!

Radiation isn’t done with me, though. Skin irritation/redness will peak in the next week or so. I already have an extremely itchy rash.

But I am (probably) done with all my cancer treatments!

Hopefully when I meet with Dr. Brufsky on the 22nd, he won’t tell me I have to take a pill or something. He seemed to indicate at the last appointment that I may not need to.

It’s been a long road from my diagnosis on August 31st. Chemo. Surgery. Radiation.

And it’s not really over. It will never be over.

I saw a video yesterday that called cancer a trauma. Your whole life changes in an instant. And scanxiety is real. I will always worry about recurrence. I know Dr. Brufsky said the odds are 10% that it will come back, but he’s also not psychic.

I really hope this is one and done. One was plenty. I lost almost a year of my life, and will be spending the next year on follow up appointments and waiting for my taste buds and hair to come back. I don’t think I’ll feel like it’s truly behind me until those are normal again and when I can stop taking the blood thinner. It will be a new normal.

But for now, I can look back and be proud of myself for getting through one of my greatest fears. I did it! I’m on the other side!

I got a certificate and rang the bell. I’m going out for dinner with Aaron tonight to celebrate (Doran has Prom).

Don’t worry, this won’t be the last you’ll hear of me! In addition to my upcoming appointments, I’ll still have updates, albeit not as regularly.

Fuck cancer! Here’s hoping it’s fucked well and good!!

I moved my radiation session today to an earlier time. Got there bright and early and was waiting for the changing room. I thought someone was in it because the door was closed. It’s never closed. Thankfully Tiffany got to me before I figured it out because she said the machine was down.

Really? That’s twice in my 20 radiation sessions – and right before I’m almost done!

The engineer is on his way from Uniontown, so he won’t even get here for another hour. Then if it’s the problem they think it is, he’ll fix it, the machine has to warm up, etc., so the earliest they can actually use it would be two hours from now. It’s a free for all in terms of who gets in, but since my treatment is really fast, Tiffany said they’d probably be able to slide me in.

However, she spoke with the dr, who said it was ok to add the session on to the end. I opted for that due to my schedule today.

So much for being done with radiation in May. Now I’m done June 1. Hopefully!!!!

There is now noticeable redness on my right breast. It’s not too pronounced, but there’s a difference between the left and right. Even though my last four sessions are on a smaller, targeted area, the overall redness will likely increase. The doctor said its peak will be a week or so after radiation ends, so it’ll get worse before it gets better. Hopefully it won’t be TOO irritated or uncomfortable!

They added more stickers and marked drawings the other day when doing the simulation. I told one of the nurses today that I didn’t want to take off the two for the previously radiated area just in case. She said to actually not take it off and wait for the stickers to come off on their own. Since they’ve been on for so long, my skin could be irritated underneath and possibly come off if I force it. These are damn good stickers, though, so I may have these for a while!

I scheduled my six month follow up with the radiation oncologist – November!

Three more to go…